What are the answers?
Last night as I sat watching Sex and The City, I thought about what Carrie Bradshaw said about how she or Miranda couldnt figure out men. That put me on the thought trail that could I figure out men? And then I went down the memory lane...
I always played with boys and was a tom boy myself. I always felt that no man can ever fancy me.. Because I was not so attractive.. Well but now after being on the wrong side of 25 I think there are other problems. Three disastrous relationships later. I dont know if I always made the wrong choice or was it just a hasty mistake.
The first guy I fell in love with was a man of very limited ability of flooring some dumb people (who had massive self doubts). He believed that hard work might kill.. The second guy ,who I was all keen to get married to ,was a bigger loser. No, he was not dumb but was just a weak character who earned a lot of money and lost himself to money and women easily available.. If yu are already horrified. There is more to come.
In my heart broken state I met an another 'not a super achiever' ... well he was a sob. Who had just given up with the world and its people ...... Thinking ... I then I met the biggest loser of them all. He was a spoilt child. You could easily be decieved by his outward calm. Well he wanted all great to happen to him and would not listen to anyone at all. He abused me mentally ,physically and emotionally. Its taken me an year to recover some what but have I still totally recovered?
The time has come when I should finally walk the aisle... And I am full of self doubt.... Do I have the judgement to find the right man? Have I made all my mistake and I am ready to know all the rights for me? Or is there ever a right? Arent we all full of our rights and wrongs .. and its just the way you look at things that yu see more right or wrong?Or do situations and circumstances govern the rights and wrongs?
I see my friends happily married . Are the men with them perfect or its just that they have decided to see the rights in them and ignore the wrongs? Am I am normal person or is there something wrong with me? Is it me who is the loser? Whats are the answers and what are the truths?Is there a Prince Charming ? Will I ever meet him?So many questions and no answers?
Of late there is another thing that I am feeling.I am not attracted to men, I dont want company and wanna be left alone. Thought of being with someone suffocates me... Is there something wrong or am in denial?
Questions more questions and more questions. My head is spinning........
Lets wait and watch
I always played with boys and was a tom boy myself. I always felt that no man can ever fancy me.. Because I was not so attractive.. Well but now after being on the wrong side of 25 I think there are other problems. Three disastrous relationships later. I dont know if I always made the wrong choice or was it just a hasty mistake.
The first guy I fell in love with was a man of very limited ability of flooring some dumb people (who had massive self doubts). He believed that hard work might kill.. The second guy ,who I was all keen to get married to ,was a bigger loser. No, he was not dumb but was just a weak character who earned a lot of money and lost himself to money and women easily available.. If yu are already horrified. There is more to come.
In my heart broken state I met an another 'not a super achiever' ... well he was a sob. Who had just given up with the world and its people ...... Thinking ... I then I met the biggest loser of them all. He was a spoilt child. You could easily be decieved by his outward calm. Well he wanted all great to happen to him and would not listen to anyone at all. He abused me mentally ,physically and emotionally. Its taken me an year to recover some what but have I still totally recovered?
The time has come when I should finally walk the aisle... And I am full of self doubt.... Do I have the judgement to find the right man? Have I made all my mistake and I am ready to know all the rights for me? Or is there ever a right? Arent we all full of our rights and wrongs .. and its just the way you look at things that yu see more right or wrong?Or do situations and circumstances govern the rights and wrongs?
I see my friends happily married . Are the men with them perfect or its just that they have decided to see the rights in them and ignore the wrongs? Am I am normal person or is there something wrong with me? Is it me who is the loser? Whats are the answers and what are the truths?Is there a Prince Charming ? Will I ever meet him?So many questions and no answers?
Of late there is another thing that I am feeling.I am not attracted to men, I dont want company and wanna be left alone. Thought of being with someone suffocates me... Is there something wrong or am in denial?
Questions more questions and more questions. My head is spinning........
Lets wait and watch
posted by DeepInThought | 10:37 PM
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